In the Cheap Seats
Bobby "Butch" Burney | News-Telegram Sports Editor

June 17, 2006 - Now we know what Forrest Gump's mother meant when she said, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Putting the Stu in Stupid is Stu Jackson.

Stupid Jackson has the job as the NBA Vice President of Sticking It To The Mavericks. Yes, the league office has a job just for that.

Stupid did it again on Friday when he upgraded Jerry Stackhouse's foul on self-proclaimed Superman, Shaquille O'Neal, from a flagrant one to a flagrant two foul and suspended the top sixth man in the league for Game 5 of the NBA Finals on Sunday.

I'm waiting for the next suspension - that of Shaq's daughters. After all, O'Neal said his daughters hit him harder than Stackhouse did.

According to Stupid Jackson's reasoning, Stackhouse's foul was "excessive."

How about Shaq's fouls? He almost knocked Dirk Nowitzki's jaw out of socket with an elbow, he opened up a three-stitch gash on Stackhouse's nose with another elbow, and he sent Devin Harris into the second row with a hip check. By the way, neither of the hits to Dirk nor Harris were even called fouls by the fine officiating crews that the NBA has put together.

The league isn't even reviewing O'Neal's fouls.

I guess Superman needs to be protected, but the Mavericks - who everyone around the league associates with being "soft" - are Lex Luther bullies.

Actually, the ones who are soft are Stupid Jackson and his self-serving boss, David Stern. They hide behind rules that they make up and enforce as some kind of retribution on Mavericks owners Mark Cuban, who is a thorn in their side.

Stupid and Self-Serving would rather take the trophy out of the Mavericks' hands by hook and crook - all the while hiding behind the doors of their plush offices - than allow Cuban to own a world championship team.

Conspiracy theory? You bet it is.

Stupid is Stupid. Period.

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