In the Cheap Seats
Bobby "Butch" Burney | News-Telegram Sports Editor

April 1, 2006 - Now that Major League Baseball is launching an investigation into steroid use, we'll all find out what really happened. And in another breaking story, the moon is made out of cheese.

Even people who are not self-proclaimed critics like me can't really believe that George Mitchell's probe into steroid use among MLB players will lead anywhere. C'mon, Mitchell is a politician. When was the last time a national politician got the bottom of anything other than the public pocket?

I don't have the energy to go into the multitude of reasons why the investigation will go nowhere other than to mention them off the top of my head - the probe will only go back to 2002 ... MLB doesn't have subpoena power to force players to testify ... Mitchell is a director of the Boston Red Sox and close personal friend of faux-commissioner Bud "Light" Selig .. and baseball doesn't want any more embarrassment.

It's a grand gesture by the worst commissioner in the history of professional sports, and it will be grandly wasted.

On the subject of baseball, a lot of pundits gave new Rangers GM Jon Daniels slaps on the back for his offseason moves. Now, it looks like the 28-year-old didn't do his homework.

Two of his prized acquisitions are already aching from physical problems that benched them last year.

No. 2 starter Adam Eaton will be out for a month - and possibly the entire season if he needs surgery - for a tendon problem in his finger. He missed a month last year with San Diego and was ineffective after he came back with the same problem.

Centerfielder Brad Wilkerson already had a cortisone injection in the same aching shoulder that put him on the DL last season when he was with Montreal.

Looks like the other GMs knew something Daniels didn't.

It's not all Daniels' fault, though, because he tutored under John Hart, who is still suckling money from the Rangers as a "consultant."

The NFL has finally cracked down on those inane end zone antics, but not because of Jerry Jones.

The Cowboys' honcho was one of only three owners who did not vote on the new restrictions. Seems he probably was thinking about all those 15-yard penalties the team will incur because of Terrell Owens.

But, he probably shouldn't worry. Officials won't be able to flag players until they have issued a verbal warning. By that time, the players will have already gotten their air time on Sports Center - which is what it's all about anyway.

Two SSHS assistant football coaches have gotten new gigs with East Texas schools. Veteran coach Larry Sherman will be the new defensive coordinator at Mount Vernon, where he lives. His longtime friend Charles Swann recently was named head coach for the Tigers.

Also, Kyle Abshire will be heading to Waskom to head up the defensive unit there. Former Winnsboro standout Nathan Turner is the head coach.

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