So lately (well, I take that back) we, in the newsroom, are always quoting lines from our favorite movie, Steel Magnolias. It wasn’t until recently that everyone (and I’m not naming names) in the newsroom had seen the movie so now it is even more fun to be spontaneous with our quoting outbursts.
If you haven’t seen this movie STOP now and proceed to the nearest video store and rent it immediately.
Characters include the all-star cast of Sally Field as M’Lynn, Dolly Parton as Truvy, Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser Boudreaux, Daryl Hannah as Annelle, Olympia Dukakis as Clairee Belcher and Julia Roberts as Shelby.
I know it has been around for a while, but these six divas of the silver screen come together for 119 minutes of the most heartwarming story of life, love and loss in a small Louisiana Parish.
Here are some great one-liners and some even more hilarious conversations from the movie, but there are plenty colorful ones that were edited from this selection too. Feel free to laugh along and comment with favorites of your own!
Here is our own clean version of “overheard in the newsroom” …
Clairee Belcher: Ouiser, I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer.
Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Ouiser Boudreaux: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.
Truvy: There is no such thing as natural beauty.
Annelle: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
Shelby: [to Annelle] Relax! You can't screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet.
Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.
Truvy: What are your colors, Shelby?
Shelby: My colors are "blush" and "bashful."
M'Lynn: Her colors are "pink" and pink."
Shelby: My colors are "blush" and "bashful" Mama!
M'Lynn: How pretentious is this weddin' gonna get, I ask you?
Shelby: Pink is my signature color.
[Referring to her daughter's many pink wedding decorations]
M'Lynn: That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.
Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket.
Truvy: Smile! It increases your face value.
Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!
Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.
Ouiser Boudreaux: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Truvy: Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right.
Clairee Belcher: [trying to do "color commentary" by discussing the color of the football uniforms] ... But I love the top - such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call this color "grape" or "aubergine'?
Truvy: You are playin' hard to get!
Clairee Belcher: At her age, she should be playin' beat the clock.
Clairee: And I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week...
Ouiser Boudreaux: There. My secret’s out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz!
Annelle: We are in the house of the Lord!
Clairee Belcher: Oh like she cares. Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'.
Annelle: [stands up after praying] Amen.
M'Lynn: [looking confused at Truvy] Was she just praying?
Truvy: [rolling eyes, frustrated] Yes.
Truvy: Maybe she's praying for Marshall and Drew and Belle. Maybe she's praying for us because we're gossiping. Maybe she's praying because the elastic is shot in her pantyhose! Who knows! She prays at the drop of a hat these days.
AND I am ending with the most memorable scene from the movie. It really is a classic.
M'Lynn: No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!
[grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: Hit this! Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [taken aback and confused] Are you crazy?
Clairee: Hit her!
Ouiser Boudreaux: Are you *high*, Clairee?
Truvy: [in a frightened tone] Clairee, have you lost your mind?
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Annelle: [in a scared tone] Ms. Clairee, enough!
Clairee: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] Let go o' me!
Clairee: M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!
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