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Home Blogs Ask Delores How Do I Get My Daughter Out Of My House?

How Do I Get My Daughter Out Of My House?

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Dear Delores:

I have a grown daughter (age 40) that had to move back in with me (a lady her her late 60s) three months ago. I thought it would just be a few weeks until she got together money for a deposit on a new place. She has grwon children and baby sits her own grandchildren. This is driving me crazy. I don't agree with the way she does or about anything they do from the sort of clothes they wear. This is because of my generation, I know. We were taught to respect our parents (my kids use to respect me) but they go along with thier own children's ideas now-a days. How do I ask them to move on without seeiming to be monster to them. Well, I can't bear to ask them. I have been rude to them about suggesting I need to be able to sleep later in my own hoiuse from telling them I can't afford to eat out as they do. I even tell my grandaughter she is dressing not well by wearing "too tight or revealing tops" for me to like. They will never come back after they do leave, I am afraid. To me, though, I do feel as if I am being used and very ill respected. I do have to still work and I am very picky about my house. Also, I might add they are complete slobs. Please don't print this in the paper!!!!! I do wish someone would get an article going about without me seeming to be the one who started it. This generation of people need to understand they are very different from our generation. May I add also, my daughter may give me a little money each week but it does not cover the electricity, water they use...much less the damage they are doing to my house each day. I refuse to buy food they eat or snacks. they eat out most of the time because the daughter refuses to clean the kitchen as I like it done. I never tell her so. Should I just order a bottle of nerves pills and take this or what? She has a job that pays around $500. a week, plus a hiuge child support check from her second husband. She is working on her 6th "live in". She is unable to get along with a man because she caters to her children every whem. Just give me an inkling of what to do!!

No Respect In My Own Home

Dear No Respect:

I would set a date for your daughter to move out and tell her 2 weeks ahead of that date so she can be making other arrangements. If she refuses or says you're being cruel or insensitive, and she probably will, then I would tell her I am willing to have her removed legally. I would state all of this calmly and include the exit date in writing. You have allowed her to run over you, although I'm sure you did

 

not expect this sort of behavior and disrespect on her part and that of her children and grandchildren. Remember, it is YOUR house, not hers or theirs, and YOU have every right to enjoy it the way you see fit. YOU control your life, not your daughter and the sooner to get this taken care of the better off you will be. If she refuses to speak or have anything to do with you further after she moves out, so be it. It will hurt but sometimes we just have to accept the fact that our children are so selfish they cannot be helped. Some people just cannot be helped without taking everything for granted. You allow yourself to be used and she's taken full advantage of it. There is nothing wrong with you wanting your life and your house back. Do not feel guilty if she tries to tell you it's all your fault either. You only tried to help her out temporarily and she's the one who should feel guilty although that is unlikely. Don't worry, she'll just move on and find someone else to use. Clean your house and change your locks baby. Live again!!!

Delores


Comments (1)Add Comment
ccnad
I wish I could
written by ccnad , September 09, 2009
Her and her one sibling have always used me and tried to put me to blame for everything in thier lives that have happened.
One daughter went on with her life and is successful, has a good marriage but she always lived with me and took my side in most things.
The other two that are so resentful of me went to thier Dad's on the weekends and were allowed to do everything or anything. He drank and they ran wild.
I should have done something years ago but I was the "bad one" because I had a lot of friends and tried to have a successful 2nd marriage.
My first husband had his way of making me feel belittled because I had divorced him. He was sexually abusive plus mentally abusive.
The kids never saw this.
To them, especailly the two youngest and the ones I had trouble with now, thier Dad was thier hero and the "good one".

When the younger two were older, they wanted to go live with him. He had married again so i let this happen. The daughter who lives with me now, became pregnant in her senior year of school and I think she now things after 25 years, I still should help her.

Thank you for your advice.
This weekend, when she gives me a little cash, i think I will tell her to keep it and go get a motel for the weekend so she can babysit the crying baby so I can sleep.
I always work twelve hours on Saturday night so I can get away but I need to sleep on Sunday after church.

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