mySSnews

Here are a few for the weekend:

The Higgs boson particle...(or GOD particle as some have referred to it) walks into a Catholic church. The priest, a somewhat confused look on his face asks..."What are YOU doing here??" The Higgs boson replies...."You can't have mass without me!!"

I have a friend named David, he lost his ID, so we just call him Dav.

Q:Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers

My Twitter crush and I were feeling a little too distant. My therapist suggested a couple's retweet. (Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry.)

...and, in honor of the new wetness policy back home...

A guy walks into a bar and says, "OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!"

These will get you a karma bump! They may be bad -- Really bad -- but they made me chuckle!!

Nice job Doc!

Remember, folks, tip the joketender in the Karma jar...



A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked

"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming I came upon a gang of
bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll
kick the stuffing out of all of you!' "

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Couple of minutes ago."

Now that's funny!

docziggy wrote:
Remember, folks, tip the joketender in the Karma jar...



A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked

"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming I came upon a gang of
bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll
kick the stuffing out of all of you!' "

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Couple of minutes ago."

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a WINNER!!

Ha-Ha!

Well here are a few more that border on bad...bad jokes, bad taste...you name it...


I entered ten puns in a contesr to see which one would win. No pun in ten did.

When I was a kid, ADD was referred to as SHUT UP AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

I hate people that take drugs. Mainly drug enforcement officers.



Longer joke for the folks without ADD:

A pastor buys a Lawn mower and two days later he returns it to the store "This Lawn mower you sold me doesn't work." He says.

"Well, Did you pull the chord to make it start?" ask the salesman.

"Yes I did." replyed the Preacher.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you,This Lawn mower works only if you Cuss at it." says the salesman.

" I can't do that I am a preacher, I havent cussed in years." Said the preacher.

"Keep pulling the chord and it will come back to you." says the salesman.



OK, OK...stop clapping...here are a few more...


All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I just can't seem to finish anyth

and finally...

The recent earthquake in Washington, DC obviously was the government's fault.