Tom Green forwarded this to me the other day. I’m sure many of you have seen it before — I’d sent it out to a few friends a couple of years ago after seeing it on a web site that escapes me now. But it’s still a lot of fun. Feel free to add your own. (P.S. This list in no way reflects the opinions of myself or MySSnews.com or Echo Publishing Company, especially anything having to do with cruising the park for young girls or the standard of care at Hopkins County Memorial Hospital. Although that bit about Fred Randles did make me spit coke all over the computer monitor.)
You may be from Sulphur Springs if you ...
- Ever have given directions to a party using Jess Orr's store as a landmark.
- You've ever been to Aiguier cemetery.
- You've ever sat on railroad tracks waiting for the ghost of that kid that's looking for his head.
- You've ever been to a festival celebrating cows or stew.
- You know you can tell when a person came of age by knowing where they consider the "the drag" starting:
— pre 1980 the square,
— 1980 to 1990 the old Howard's Lot or
— post 1990 old K-mart.
— It always ends at Massey's.
- You have ever spent the night at Massey's.
- You went to high school with an Aguilar, Price or a Pryor.
- If you've ever bought a case of cheap beer in Birch Creek for $30.
- If you ever cruised through the park with your stereo turned up hunting the 8th grade chicks.
- You actually know what the acronyms HKK and AGS stand for.
- You have a V.I.P pass to Bustin' Loose or Bright Star
- You equate "Going to Dallas" with "Town East".
- You have ever HAD to wash your vehicle before you could go home.
- You consider Joe Bob Burgin a successful business man.
- In your Grandmother's opinion, Fred Randles should be a professional gospel singer.
- At one time or another you had a CB handle that got you a date.
- Your church service ends at Ta Molly's.
- You have ever dated someone you met at Lil' Bit.
- If you've ever driven past the high school on Christmas vacation to see the lighted wreaths around the necks of the 20-fot tall plastic cows.
- If you've ever stolen or know someone who has stolen a "Highway 69" sign.
- If you've ever had football or graduation practice in a rodeo arena.
- "Making it" means moving to Dallas
- You know for a fact a deer crossing sign (including the pole), and 10 people will fit in your vehicle.
More You May Be From Sulphur Springs...
- If you know how to pronounce Cooper.
- If you can get from Rose Hill to Yantis without using state roads.
- If your local hospital is the biggest building in town and only out-of-towners will go there.
- If the fanciest date you went on in high school involved the words "K-Bob".
- If you have ever had a car wreck and ended up on the top of Tejas Taco.
- If you have ever gone to the hospital for a hangnail and been diagnosed pregnant and you're a male!
- If when you meet someone you have to tell them "how they know you" by reciting your genealogy and then spend just as long telling them who you’re NOT kin to!
- If you have ever had an entire conversation staring into the bed of a truck
- If you have called the smell of cow manure "Joe Don's money".
- If you have a belt buckle in your family heirlooms.
- If you know why it takes 20 minutes to get to Commerce and 30 minutes to get back.
- If you have ever thrown anything into the back of your truck as a conversation piece!
- If you know exactly where Gilmer becomes Broadway and refer to them properly.
- If you care that Chuck's back.
- If you know Highways 11, 154 and 19 by there neareast destination, i.e.: Como Highway or Commerce Highway, Yantis Highway, Paris Highway. Same applies to Farm to Market Roads: Reilly Springs Road, Arbala Road, etc.
- If you never make plans for the Saturday before the first Monday of every month.
And even more You May Be From Sulphur Springs...
- If you ever shed a tear because your favorite car dealer died.
- If you give directions by landmarks that aren't there anymore! Example: "Turn down beside where Quicky's used to be."
- If you call things by their old name even though they have been 10 other things since then, even if you use "The Old" in front of it. (If it’s still Silverleaf or its still The Old Big H or its still The Old Howards.)
- If you remember who was at the Alamo by remembering elementary school names.
- If you still talk to more than 10 people every week you went to first grade with.
- If you remember what year it was by what truck you were driving.
- If you know two or more of the following: Scary Larry, Johnny Cash, Willy Wildman, Joe David, Big Rick.
- If you still as an adult call people names like Tiger, Bubba, Moose and Lumpy.
- If you know more than three couples with twins.
- If "the mall" is six stores in an old jeans plant.
- If you have ever bought something to wear at Wal-Mart because your deprived senses thought it was "cute".
- If on laundry day you can do a whole load of camouflage.
- If your Daddy has told you not to date someone cause you "might" be kin.
- If you have ever referred to catfish as seafood.
- If you have ever listed "The Prom" under synonyms for disillusionment.
- You can give accurate directions on how to get to Dike from Coke.
- If you ever refer to your hometown as “Sufferin’ Springs”
- If you’ver ever gotten ticked off because someone spelled “Sulphur” with an “e.”
And finally ...
If a trip next door requires a three-mile journey around the county because some idiot made the service roads one way, you may live in Sulphur Springs!
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