We here at Newsroom Musings pride ourselves on being fair and accurate, but we're not above being biased, rumor-mongering little sleaze slingers, especially when it comes to the Dallas Cowboys. With that, here are the top 10 reasons Dan Reeves decided not to go to work with the Cowboys:
10. Objected to Jerry's mandatory "4:20" meetings.
9. Reeves freaked out when Jerry pulled off the mask and revealed he was really Al Davis.
8. Atmosphere turned frosty when Reeves asked Jerry, "Can you think of any common denominator on these teams that haven't won a playoff game in 12 years?"
7. Reeves got miffed when Jason Garrett balked at his suggestion to switch to the "Single Wing" formation.
6. Fired for insubordination when he told Jerry, "You have to put the team ahead of yourself."
5. One too many "atomic wedgies" from DeMarcus Ware.
4. Reeves finally sat down and actually watched video of the Cowboys games last season.
3. Ghost of Tom Landry kept appearing in a vision and whispering "Get Out!"
2. Contract negotiations came to a screeching halt when Jerry penciled in "Get me a sam'ich" and "give me foot rubs" under "Daily Duties."
1. Just couldn't take Jessica leaving her frilly underthings hanging in the shower any more.
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