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Dear Delores:

I have a grown daughter (age 40) that had to move back in with me (a lady her her late 60s) three months ago. I thought it would just be a few weeks until she got together money for a deposit on a new place. She has grwon children and baby sits her own grandchildren. This is driving me crazy. I don't agree with the way she does or about anything they do from the sort of clothes they wear. This is because of my generation, I know. We were taught to respect our parents (my kids use to respect me) but they go along with thier own children's ideas now-a days. How do I ask them to move on without seeiming to be monster to them. Well, I can't bear to ask them. I have been rude to them about suggesting I need to be able to sleep later in my own hoiuse from telling them I can't afford to eat out as they do. I even tell my grandaughter she is dressing not well by wearing "too tight or revealing tops" for me to like. They will never come back after they do leave, I am afraid. To me, though, I do feel as if I am being used and very ill respected. I do have to still work and I am very picky about my house. Also, I might add they are complete slobs. Please don't print this in the paper!!!!! I do wish someone would get an article going about without me seeming to be the one who started it. This generation of people need to understand they are very different from our generation. May I add also, my daughter may give me a little money each week but it does not cover the electricity, water they use...much less the damage they are doing to my house each day. I refuse to buy food they eat or snacks. they eat out most of the time because the daughter refuses to clean the kitchen as I like it done. I never tell her so. Should I just order a bottle of nerves pills and take this or what? She has a job that pays around $500. a week, plus a hiuge child support check from her second husband. She is working on her 6th "live in". She is unable to get along with a man because she caters to her children every whem. Just give me an inkling of what to do!!

No Respect In My Own Home

Dear No Respect:

I would set a date for your daughter to move out and tell her 2 weeks ahead of that date so she can be making other arrangements. If she refuses or says you're being cruel or insensitive, and she probably will, then I would tell her I am willing to have her removed legally. I would state all of this calmly and include the exit date in writing. You have allowed her to run over you, although I'm sure you did

Delores, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with my best friend, he's 26 and I'm 17. I have been since I was 14, too. It's just getting worse. I don't know what to do. It's hurtful. What advice would you have for me?

Signed, Confused.

Dear Confused:

What I want to know is why in the world is a 14 year old doing hanging out with a 23 year old? It is easy to love your best friend as you are comfortable with them and enjoy being around them. That doesn't mean it's that kind of "love".